Tophia story saying that she visited her mother for the first time yesterday and talking about the go fund me
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This exactly!! Like helping yourself is key!! She has to step up and grow up.
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Is the hospital providing a social worker for tophia??? She’s obviously mentally challenged (we all know this) and is not capable of navigating all of this on her own.
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This just reminded me that she can’t drive omg! Brotherchu was always the 1 driving them around
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And I don’t think Marie will be able to drive any time soon either… that’s if she can drive. To me it sounds like tophia isn’t getting much guidance, but I could be wrong
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I don’t think Marie has her license either. Donald Jr was the only one who could drive in that family.
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No Marie can never drive she’s not alert enough and won’t pass a test and Tophia is mentally challenged not just intellectually. So hotel hopping until GFM buys a house I’m serious.
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There are plenty of challenged people who drive-look at Chris Chan, he’s been driving since he was a teenager I think. I honestly think she could do it if she did the lessons- but they’re extremely expensive like some can run $100/hr. Maybe one of her brother’s car friends from the car group could help her learn.
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She will need many many lessons. That’s a great idea but she won’t accept help. She wants to do it her way. That’s a great idea though and knowing those guys they would be happy to ablige. The group sounds like a real family.
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I think the issue here is not lack of license or age for Marie but car insurance coverage and registration… they wouldn’t be able to carry those things for a car. Tophia is 30 and never had a license, so it could cost her more for a bit to insure. She won’t pay for it. She will uber
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If marie didn't have a license how did she manage to get around town for the past 50 years? Especially during the homeless era,?
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Probably Donald sr. When he wasn’t as strung out
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But what about the era where she didn't meet Donald?
I mean, how else did she get to work at taco bell? Public transportation in new mexico is poor
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Mann he had the most potential to not be a complete screw up too + he supported his family a lot 😭 he wasnt a very good person but he didn’t deserve this
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Well shit, it just keeps getting worse for her.
Did she ever say why she can’t drive or did she just not want to learn? -
He did everything for them. :/ He really was their provider. I know that poor Tophia is feeling survivors guilt right now.
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I’m a LCSW in a different state. They will 100% have someone or multiple people helping them out. My fear is after this all calms down, Tophia declines further services thinking she’ll support herself and her mom on the donations. They can’t ~make~ her do anything. She is cognitively disabled yes, but she isn’t incompetent. She is also now the designated caregiver for her mother, and we all know Marie just does whatever Tophia says.
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That’s a scary thought. I really hope tophia takes advantage of the situation and uses the services provided to her.
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I wanna add one more thing just to clarify for people. I see everyone posting that Tophia/Marie need to be in a “ward” or “home” or facility of some sort. While I don’t disagree, this isn’t the movies where those sorts of places are easy to come by. There are few and far between in terms of long-term care, and waitlists can be years and years long. Marie has a better shot at getting into a senior facility if she advocates for herself. Tophia can maybe find a group home of sorts but again, not easy to find. That’s why I hope she takes advantage of what they offer her.
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Doesn't tophia need to be a minor or be legally disabled to get into a group home? I heard group homes are only for those who are deemed legally unable to care for themselves?
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I mean she probably would be deemed legally disabled in some way, cognitively/developmentally/emotionally or otherwise. But they also have group homes for adults who struggle with MH disorders, SU disorders. But again they have pretty strict rules which include getting a job which she has said she won’t do.
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Thank you for bringing your experience and sharing! There’s a lot of assumptions and unrealistic expectations how this stuff works and appreciate you taking the time to share how some of these things work.
I really hope the family accepts any resources even if it doesn’t match tophia’s idea of what she deserves. Right now is no time to be begging. Take what you can get to get on your feet and come up with a plan.
Having been in a rough place myself as well as helping others I know it can be so difficult- impossible even- to get people help if they don’t accept it.
Thank you for all you do btw!!!
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If she takes donations she won’t get the state funds which won’t be much but the right thing to do until tophia learn a skill through the state or county services. A vocational rehab type of place. That would be a good plan to start with case management and to get services. Guranddrigigentied she wants handouts through the GFM so won’t get services. That’s Florida but correct me if I’m wrong for those fam with NM law.
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Can tophia or marie legally decline services despite their unique circumstances?
I apologize but whats the difference between incompetent and cognitively disabled? I thought they were the same
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Incompetent would be she cannot care for herself independently whatsoever. That would be like someone in an unfortunate accident who can no longer speak, can’t advocate for themselves, etc. They rely on someone else for care. But there are plenty of disabled people who live independently and on their own, both physical and cognitive disabilities. Tophia can speak, perform her daily living tasks independently (meaning doesn’t need physical help doing so) and has clear cognitive functioning (understanding right vs wrong, being oriented) despite having slow processing. So in the eyes of the law she is a capable functioning adult, albiet with a cognitive delay of some sort. Because of this, she can decline whatever she wants. I’m not sure about Marie in this situation, but in my state Tophia would be next of kin aka legal guardian over Marie who clearly cannot function on her own. However if this was me, I’d be getting APS involved in some capacity, or be working directly with Marie to advocate for herself to be placed somewhere.
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Thank you for explaining that
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I really hope so, she’s rly in a bad situation and I hope she can get help. She has to want it though, and she has to WANT to change her lifestyle habits.
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I agree with you 100%. But another point is that she is not mentally capable of grasping what’s necessary to live. Tophia is very obviously mentally stunted- whether it’s the result of poor parenting, or an actual mental disability. No matter how much tophia wants a satisfactory life, she will never be able to obtain it on her own. She needs some sort of overhead guidance.
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That’s a good point, but even then a adult social worker or even a therapist can help guide her into making the right choices, so she can develop those baby steps into becoming a functioning adult even with her disability.
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Where are we getting that she's addicted to porn? I'm curious
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im not agreeing but i have seen a few comments saying that the really vulgar and sexual insults she’s been coming up with lately all sound like they come from porn. and if you’re watching enough porn to the point that you start picking up on their slang and use it in your daily speech..?? seek help
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Lots of her public likes on Instagram are nsfw videos of boys love as well as her having multiple porn sites bookmarked, and lots of her following (she isn’t following them now because she got exposed) was boys love accounts..typically minors or people who appear to be minors. She also created a alternate account just to watch and gift (sending money) to her fav male Asian streamer.
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Is she legally stunted enough to be deemed to be ordered by a court to get a social worker?
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What typically happens is when Marie is close to being discharged, social work will enter the scene to figure out living arrangements and ongoing care. I’d imagine Marie will require follow up care post discharge. The caveat here is that they will likely only be concerned for Marie and her living arrangements since Tophia is an adult. They would assist in getting her applied to Medicaid (if she doesn’t have it already) which would then cover Marie’s medical expenses and possibly get her set up in a long term care facility. Tophia, may well and truly be on her own to navigate what’s next for her.
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Hopefully they'll get marie a cell phone so she can have a reliable number to be contacted at by her social worker
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Under Obama they developed a cell phone program through Medicaid. Not sure if it’s still a thing.
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Itbqqs actually understand Reagan in the 80s
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Where I am, the hospital will pay for a cab to send homeless people wherever they want to go. I wonder if they’ll do the same to Tophia and her mother.
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I'm guessing she's not asking the hospital or doctors for a social worker .. This is what happened 2wks ago wen her mom went to the e.r . They don't ask for help from what I've noticed
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I guarantee you’re right. She’s just letting the doctor go through the motions and not asking or telling them anything so she could possibly get help. Marie is spacing out half the time and Tophia will just nod her head and not say anything further.
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Indeed..this is why I don't believe she'll get 2 much help ..I hope they do .but they just don't do anything for themselves..if they would've gone to the shelter, this wouldn't have happened. but wen it's ur time as well, it's just ur time no matter how u try to intervene
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Wait...i thought the police dept was helping her and putting her under protective custody until the investigation was done?
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Really ? shoot, I didn't kno that.. but why would they put her under protective custody, tho ? the shooter and criminal was shot dead ..unless she told the police it was the internet right ?
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We can't know for certain unless there is a thorough investigation as this case is still developing.
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oh, I see .. yes, it very plausible than
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I mean you know how crazy these trolls get considering how one troll sent some tinder guys to tophia's motel room and gorilla poop on a box
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There’s only so much a hospital social worker can do when they have hundreds of patients a week. They can refer people to social services and help Marie get into a nursing facility but they’re not going to the ones to get them an apartment. I’m sure with Marie being in and out of the hospital they both know that but Tophia would have to do her part.
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Not sure if the hospital would but hoping something through the city or county, there are typically things set up for crime victims, even if it’s just linking people to resources. Was hoping that would be the one good thing to come from this. Then again we’ve seen how she reacts to resources if it’s not the mansion with the pool and live-streaming room she wants.
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"I cant live a normal life anymore" Do you think she realizes she will have to get a job now and she cant just sit around doing nothing? Because I wouldnt call being homeless in a car a normal life.
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Yup. They relied on Donald Jr for a lot. She knows they can't continue living in cars anymore since neither of them can drive. Learning to drive will be near impossible now unless she pays for a driving instructor (which we know she won't) or she buys some used car and teaches herself (which we know she won't). People had been warning her about the dangers of living in a car but all she could do is moan about how bad shelter food was and complain about having to pay rent for a motel or apartment. She's gonna have to stop living her fantasy influencer life and find a real job if she wants to get off the streets. I hope that the hospital or police offer her resources and help with that.
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All she knows is dysfunction so sadly the way she was living was normal to her. What happened was really traumatic and sad but I hope she can turn her life around. 🤞🏼🤞🏼
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Given how she blamed the internet in her first story after everything happened, is already complaining about how this “wouldn’t have happened if people help sooner” and that people should donate to her GFM not her brother’s friends one no I don’t think she does. That’s why I don’t think she should be trusted with any of the GFM money. She will probably give her brother either the bare minimum of things relating to funeral expenses/gravestone/plot/urn (whatever they decide to do) or not get him anything at all (and try to claim that’s what he wanted) and use the money for herself.
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She will get a cremation service. IF SHES SMART HIS FATHER AS A VETERAN IS ENTITLED TO A BURIAL AT ARLINGTON AND ONE FAMILY MEMBER ALLOWED SO FATHER AND SON CAN BE BURIED TOGETHER WHEN DONALD SR OASSES THEY WILL OPEN AND RESEAL FOR FREE. THEY COULD EVEN PLACE ASHES IN WALL INSTEAD OF SERVICES. but she’s not smart and will leave the ashes for all we know. What they gonna do carry them around. Get him a veteran burial.
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That’s his blood son unlike tophia we don’t know who it is.
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All that would require effort on her part. She’s not doing all that paperwork
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Fuck the medical expenses. Just worry about the funeral and housing.
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I dont understand why medical expenses are even a factor in this? If you make below a certain threshold (which marie is $0 income), then medicaid picks up the bill.
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Yeah I can’t see Marie having any medical bills right now.
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Thats só hard to listen, Shell NEVER be the same, maybe for the better.
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I wonder where she’s staying
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Someone said the cops got her a hotel for a few days but I dunno how true that is.
I’ve never heard a cop pay out of pocket for someone’s rooming situation, unless there’s some type of fund that exists that I’m not aware of.
When I worked at a hotel and there were homeless people that were berate us cos they didn’t have enough, cops would ask us to be kind and give em a room for free though
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They have emergency funds/community service funds for stuff like this, especially for victims of violent crime. I’m assuming that’s what paid for it.
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I’m honestly concerned bc once all these sympathy donations stop realistically what is she going to do? how will she learn to drive without a car to even practice in? it’s going to be impossible for her to save for a car pay rent/ a hotel fee without a job and let’s be so fr she’s not going to be in any condition to hold a job in the near future with everything that happened. she better put these donations to good use and be saving bc people only feed so bad for you for so long
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To be fair, driving schools do provide vehicles to pick you up and practice in and you can also use them at the DMV to get your license. She would first have to get her permit then go to a driving school for the physical driving part. So that's one thing.
I wish she'd listen to what anyone would have to say and go get a social worker. They would help her with ideas and get a game plan together.
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yes but that’s also a few hundred dollars for driving school so she’d have to be willing to invest that money
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Exactly, you can only lead a horse to water but can't make em drink it. She's gonna have to want this.
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lived inside of a car for MONTHS. never took the time to learn how to drive it.
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The cars didn’t work besides the spray painted one
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she wouldn't need to worry as much about watching her back if she stayed in a shelter
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Exactly I know she said one of those shelters was bad but there has to be another shelter she could go to..hell I’m sure she could stay at a friends house
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Shelters are oftentimes really bad unless theyre DV / women and family shelters. Tophia is 30 and Marie is aged / clearly sick so Marie could probably get into a shelter without any issues but Tophia would probably not be allowed to stay unless Marie was marked as dependent on her.
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Honestly wonder if angie/ Angie’s family would take them in? 🤔
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Angie has always had beef with the chu family I doubt she’ll take them in
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The fact she even has to worry about medical bills in a situation like this infuriates me. They’re literally homeless
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She will realistically have it covered by state free insurance. Like Medicaid. All she has to do is say that she’s homeless and they will help her navigate filling out Medicare and getting it taken care of for free.
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Not if Elon has anything to say about
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That’s too much effort on her part
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It’s okay to cry and be emotional. I hope she gets the help she needs.
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This is literally the craziest situation I’ve ever seen happen to a lolcow.
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Tophia, I truly mean this in the kindest way possible. But I hope you can now see why people were concerned. Why everyone would get upset when you would double down on not getting a job and choosing to live in the car. It wasn’t coming from a place of hate, it was worry about your safety and family.
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Man, I can’t even begin to imagine the trauma! Hearing her say that she wishes she got help sooner…everyone has been telling her for months and months and she didn’t want to hear it or try to do anything to better their situation. The whole situation is just very unfortunate.
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I feel so bad for Marie. I hope she is able to recover soon.
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Nah she needs to specify what the "extra expenses" are in her personal go fund me are because that sounds sus as hell coming from her. The only things she need to concentrate on rn and the funeral and the medical expenses which I believe she is getting help for.
If she needs a place to stay it needs to be done through a 3rd party individual helping her bc ain't no way she's gonna be spending that money on the right stuff.
I'm gonna politely encourage you all to be weary of donating to her personal go fund me or her PayPal or her cashapp given the track record and and consider finding out if there is someone helping her at this time and give it to them to personally arrange stuff for her bc she's gonna see $ and it's gonna go to her brain -
Y’all need to keep in mind that everything she hasn’t done for herself aka look for a job ,learn to drive, take care of her mom, etc she will need to do in the next few weeks alone. Yes it’s on her for not doing it sooner but now she will live with the trauma of what she saw and on top of that she will probably be alone during the funeral y’all should have some sympathy for that even if it Tophia.
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i doubt that she's going to do any of this.
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lmao @ y’all thinking she’ll change at all from this. I hope she’ll prove me wrong, but right now I’m betting my left foot she’ll have spent up all the donations and go back to whining on stream and dry begging after a month
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I’m the oldest and my heart breaks for her losing her little brother no older siblings wants to outlive their younger siblings same with parents not wanting to outlive their kids 💔
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Has she ever been this vulnerable and frank before?
Heart wrenching.
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It's strange to watch her be like this. It's definitely upsetting.
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I feel so bad for her. 😞
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She could have been in a shelter but chose her car. She could have been in a shitty little apartment or motel or wtf ever but she chose comic con and junk food over a roof over their heads. Anything over a job. She chooses EVERYTHING but stability. I want her to change so bad but deep down I know it isn’t gonna happen. Throwing healing vibes her way tho (esp Marie)
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I genuinely just hope Tophia and her mother will be ok. I hope her mother will recover soon and my god i can’t imagine how she’s processing about her son being gone.
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She can do it she just has to put in the work. I was a passenger princess for years until last week. My man got sick and can’t drive for a while. I was reading that drivers manual in the hospital.
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I know she’s talked of distant family in the past, but do they truly have NO family that would be willing to take them in or help them?? I refuse to believe that her and Marie are 100% alone in this world and also what about Donald Sr where has he been and why is not involved at all? I know he is mentally unstable but clearly he has been out in streets in his own as well as he just got arrested again. I would be shocked if no one from the family came forward during this situation ( this is in no way any hate)
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They've burned bridges with a lot of the people who could help them.
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“Extra gofundme for the things i need”
“Rebuilding.”
no one is responsible for rebuilding her life or finances but her.
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She’s playing this up well. She knows what she’s doing
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As an older sibling to a younger brother with even a similar age difference I truly have so much empathy for her. I would be crushed if my little brother was shot in front of me. I would be so broken. I think we all agree she is being very strong right now and I applaud her.
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“Extra expenses” . Learning a drive oh my God that’s a fun that’s took a miracle. She’s not gonna drive her mother around. She’s not mentally capable. I’m sorry it’s the truth. It’s gonna be spent on extra not medical expenses. She could’ve said medical expenses, but if she puts extra expenses, that means anything she wants. She’s asking for like a whole house.
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I got Cora to post it on her story which was nice! She has a large platform
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"People change, and not everyone will, because you cannot change people who are not willing to change"
- I hope, wish, and pray that Tophia will be one of those people that CHOOSE to change.. ♥️💪 #StayStrongTophiachu -
So what I’m gathering is she plans on living in the car again.
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The car is totaled. They won't be able to live in it anymore.
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She wants money for a new one
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Not sure why, she can't drive lol
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Let's hope Marie being in the hospital would cure her cough and overall health.
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I wish she would understand how much support she’d receive if she decided to change her life
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My heart is breaking for her
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Hope she gets the help she needs. Praying.
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surely she isn't planning on going back to living in a car
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She absolutely needs to get set up with a social worker/case worker because I don't think she can handle sorting these things out on her own. Do any LSW know what can be done for her? Will they help set her up with transportation resources among other things?
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They will dispatch a social worker when stuff like this happens regardless. The problem is 1) if Tophia doesn’t want services or 2) she doesn’t take advantage of them. A social worker can only do so much - in terms of resources, it’s ultimately up to Tophia to follow through, actually attend, utilize what they are giving her/saying, etc. Most social housing programs also require you have a job, are making some kind of income, and out of the house for a period of time throughout the day. If she doesn’t want to do that, or thinks she can live on the donations and declines, they can’t make her do anything. At the end of the day she is a coherent adult who has autonomy. I’m more worried about her dragging Marie down with her, I hope Marie advocates for herself or they agree to place her in a facility.
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I hope so too. I hope someone will see that Marie cannot take care of herself or be taken care of by Tophia and they set her up in assisted living. Hopefully this will cause Tophia to finally wake up.
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She won't have medical bills Marie will get emergency medicaid if she doesn't have insurance
Has Tophia even talked about how her mom's doing?
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Wait, tophiachu can't drive, oh she is done, she does not grasp her situation, maybe some of her brothers friends will drive them from time to time, until she starts to behave entitled to it
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Why did she never learn to drive? Does she have driving anxiety? Idk too much about Tophia.
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Dude, she is fucked, she better get a job and fast, otherwise she will be living on the streets
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their parents failed them.. it makes me hurt
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Isn’t she in a hotel room right now? There’s a TV in the background and it’s awfully quiet for a hospital if that’s where she’s staying.
I highly doubt she’s just walking the streets at night. The lying and grifting won’t end with her
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Why does she think she’ll have medical bills. I’m really not trying to be an asshole but Marie is definitely on state insurance with no copayments or anything. There’s not going to BE a medical bill. And it’s gonna cost a lot for a funeral idk why she thinks she should get a car with that money. Yeah if there’s extra money after his funeral expenses then sure, spend it on HOUSING. It would make people feel uncomfortable that donated if she was paying for frivolous things with the money.
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She blames us / the internet but expects us to support her?????????? I just never understood why people had sympathy for her and her family. Especially with all the crazy unsympathetic things they have said and done.
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Don't send her a damn dime
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Why does Tophia needs to share more of her/families story?? Addressing the go fund me is already enough.. My opinion btw ✌️
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where is she right now? with the car gone she obviously isnt living in that and marie being in the hospital, is she just in the hospital rn? or is she elsewhere. i genuinely hope she isnt just on the streets hanging around, its way too dangerous
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She needs a case worker to help her mom get disability and with that they can get a place to live and tophia could even be her provider and get paid along with food stamps and a check for her mother every month she needs to take advantage of this horrible situation and they could really turn they’re lives around! Tophia there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of benefits of the state! You all need it and that’s what they’re there for
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Didn't she get taken to the hospital the day of after the cops spoke to her? Thats what AK said in a TT that she had just spoken to Tophia and she was in the back of a cop car waiting to be taken to the hospital? So how did she just see her mom yesterday and not the 11th?
Tophia, we wish you would have gotten help sooner, too, but more importantly helped yourselves. This is why you “just rent” and “work a 9-5.” It’s not safe out there, you can’t dig your heels into an alternate reality.
It’s only been a couple days, she has a long way to go to process and recover from shock and trauma. And sincerely hope she can create a good life for herself.