Why can't she grieve?
Why is everyone acting like tophia should be grieving on their terms? I get that y'all don't like her because you find her cringy and unattractive and maybe problematic (but let's be honest with ourselves, that's not a factor) but it's really low to try and shame someone for not grieving how you want them to.
You all seem to conveniently forget that she watched her brother get shot in front of her and had to watch as the attacker shoved his lifeless body to the side and drive off with her mom in the car. Anyone in that situation would be messed up so I don't get how you want her to all of a sudden start making job applications and go house hunting and shit. She's allowed to be upset and messed up. Has it even been more than 2 weeks since the situation happened?? You want her to miraculously get over it just because you guys don't want to deal with the guilt of having to see her suffer and remembering the harassment y'all took part in.
It's so obvious this narrative of "she's not gonna change" is being pushed because you guys want to quickly go back to the routine of harassment, bullying and bodyshaming. If something like this happened to any of you do you honestly believe that you'd be fine? Do you think that you'd be in the right headspace? And do you think that people on the internet saying that it's your fault and putting all the blame on you wouldn't get to you? And the fact that y'all haven't rethought your obsession with her in lieu of the circumstances is telling about how far you'd go to entertain yourself through someone else's unfortunate life.
Archived Comments
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Welp, now we know what type of people keep giving her money...
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I've never given that girl my money
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Ok but being a bully ≠ you're not allowed to grieve. and the people giving her money have the option to not do it. Speculating that maybe she'll misuse the funds isn't reason enough to say that she's not allowed to grieve. I'm sure you'll say that she's misused her money before but she wasn't under the current circumstances at all so it's still not a reason.
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I’d hardly call it speculation given her track record.
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Obviously these are special circumstances. It's her brother dying in front of her not losing a retail job or getting kicked out of a house
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she’s blaming her brother’s death on internet trolls. this “she’s grieving in her own way” narrative you’re trying to spin doesn’t work on people who have more than 2 neurons to rub together.
i’m sure tofupa is genuinely upset about her brother’s death, but she has shown us time and time again who she is. she’s refuses to put the phone down to focus on her sick mother. she refuses to take accountability for anything. she REFUSED to get a job and go to a shelter which had they been in one, donald would sill be alive. stop defending her. 😐
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Tophia could be blaming every single soul in the world for his death and she'd STILL be grieving in her own way. Because grief doesn't make sense and never makes sense. And it's crazy to blame her for her brother's death when she's not the one who pulled the trigger.
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nobody once said she isn’t allowed to grieve. everyone is pretty much in agreement that she should take time away and properly deal with this.
yeah, i will say it. she literally spent a gofundme meant to keep her off the streets on comicon. facing eviction is a pretty serious thing and she didn’t take that seriously, instead parading around rubbing it in everyone’s faces how much better her life was in that car.
why are you so hellbent on defending someone that, at every chance they get, they spit on those willing to help them?
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I'm not saying that she's a saint. She misuses the funds she gets, yes. But you can't start pretending that people haven't been criticizing her for her reaction to the situation. Literally open TikTok and look through the comments. You don't have to lie.
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she’s being criticized because she’s repeating the exact same behaviors she always has, like i said in my original comment.
everything she’s doing is a repeated pattern of behavior for her. she doesn’t want your help or your condolences, she wants your money.
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She should be offline. She keeps arguing with people online so she's only making it worse for herself. She does need to grieve, but again, not online.
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Yeah she should but nobody ever acts rational while they grieve
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The problem with this assessment is that Tophia is repeating the same behaviors and arguments that made people dislike her in the first place.
The problem is not that she is “not in the right headspace,” but rather that she is in exactly the same headspace as before the tragedy, repeating the same counterproductive behavior.
And I find it difficult not to see the irony in the number of threats and insults Tophia made in the preceding two months.
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Loss isn't guaranteed to make people grow or change so I don't understand why you expect her to transform into the model citizen after it. And also I find it hard to care that she's retaliating with threats after years of harassment and bullying. I know half of y'all here couldn't handle what you've been dealing her for all these years.
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I probs couldnt deal w a lot of that stuff... so i would get off the internet if i genuinely believed ppl online made my family homeless multiple times, sent my dad to jail, and caused my sibling to be murdered for $3k a year. She was threatening and bullying ppl years before this too. She was threatening to kill ppl in like middle school😭😭 Idk why its a bad thing to hope someone changes their ways and tries to better their life for the sake of their elderly sick mother and themselves after a horrible tragedy...?
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It's not a bad thing to hope that someone changes. It's a bad thing to demand that it be a wake-up call when she's dealing with grief. I've never witnessed someone get shot and fall lifeless in front of me but I assume that I'd also be a nervous wreck who's desperate to put the blame on someone.
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She isnt putting the blame on ppl bc of the grief, this is literally what shes done for years. She doesnt have time to continue being delusional thinking she can buy a house and continue sleeping in a car when she has literally nothing to her name and her mother is even more at risk too. Ppl cant just stop going to work and get fired when theyre grieving, we still have to take care of our responsibilities and to say otherwise isnt rooted in reality nor is it within the best intentions for ppl. A wake up call should make her realize that she actually needs to scramble and figure out something asap esp when she actually has to take care of her mother by herself now
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People are criticizing her way of grieving because she's using her brother's death to guilt people into sending her money, and using it as a gotcha moment to try and blame people on the internet for them being in the situation that led to him being shot which is just objectively not true. It was a random act of violence that could've happened to anyone. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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No they would never have been there if lazy azzz worked a little
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But do you blame her for thinking that way? Obviously when people grieve they'll blame anyone and anything.
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She has spent every other waking moment of her life blaming other people for her problems. This is nothing new, which is why I think people have so little patience for it.
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Yes she developed a victim complexed after being harassed by people online for her looks. Notice how I can acknowledge that she has a victim complex and also acknowledge that she had factors that led her to get there?
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She isn't blaming us because of the grief, she's always blamed the internet. I think she needs to grieve and be with family and friends right now, but her personality will always be her issue. She's always actively sought out negativity even before she became a lolcow even w overwhelming support. Ppl want her off the internet rn bc its making it harder for her to grieve.
Tophia lives her life so carelessly and recklessly that she doesn't have the ability to grieve and rest the same way as others bc she honestly has 100 more things to worry about now than the average person. She has no understanding of basic math, no work experience the last 10 years, doesn't have any credit and didnt renew her insurance, can't drive a car, is financially illiterate to the point where if she did try spending donation money wisely she would fail miserably, and now she has to figure out what to do in the next 2 or however many weeks so her mother isnt stuck in a filthy car or motel with her getting her wound infected. This was all a choice too. So no, we can't sugarcoat her in such an extreme situation. We dont need to worry abt housing w no income or credit, finding a stable job, learning how to be financially independent at 30, etc, when losing a loved one. Tophia has to, so its very sad that she wont be able to grieve properly bc of all these things. She needs to know what resources and steps to take immediately.
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yea the way this sub has acted towards how she grieves is actually disgusting. literally the day of it happening, everyone was SO understanding and supportive. she comes out and grieves in a way that none of us would (bc we are not her and we arent in her situation) then all of a sudden she is no longer deserving of support or help and its back to namecalling and disrespecting her… the emotional maturity of the majority of ppl on this sub are equivalent to a 7 year old being told “no” to a candy bar in the store then having a complete meltdown that they didn’t get their way. it honestly shows that ppl can call out tophia for being addicted to social media but they are also constantly on here over analyzing tophia and other lolcows situations.
if u dont like what tophia is saying in a time of grievance and loss… INSTEAD of going back to publicly shaming and bashing her, just stop watching her? like its not hard. she still lost her family… whether yall dont like her being vulnerable rn or not. its literally not about us.
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Honestly let them keep driving to themselves into the delusion that they're not doing anything wrong. It's hard for them to come to terms with the fact that they're bullies
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she’s going to misuse the funds given to her in good faith and she deserves to be criticized for that, grieving or not.
that narrative is being pushed because it’s who she is, it’s who she’s always been, and it’s who she’ll always be. tophia does not care about anyone but herself. it’s not because people want to bully her or harass her (which btw, she’s also a HUGE fucking bully. tragedy doesn’t change that) it’s because they want her to be held accountable for her own actions and the consequences that came of them.