Tophia, if you are reading this…
A close relative of mine was murdered when I was a teenager. We had to “clean up” their house afterwards, which was also the crime scene. It was traumatic stuff that has shaped the rest of my and my family’s lives to this day and will continue to do so.
However.
To see Tophia continue to spend this much time on social media blaming the internet and getting into pissing contests with other creators is absolutely infuriating. Why the fuck are you not spending quality time with your mom? Talking to her doctors? Talking to the hospital social worker to come up with a fucking plan? LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!? How could running your mouth and fighting with people on TikTok and IG even be on your list of priorities right now?
Tophia. Girl. I get it. I have been there, seeing your family trauma play out in the media and experiencing it first hand. It’s horrible. It’s haunting. And it will continue to haunt you for a long while..
And let’s say you’re right, that this was the direct fault of someone from the internet. Who did it and why doesn’t matter at this stage. YOU HAVE TO GROW UP NOW. You HAVE to step up. PLEASE just take a social media break and get your affairs in order. You have such bigger things to worry about now. You and your mom have to be there for one another now.
Talk to the hospital social worker. They will connect you with resources to help you. But you have to start acting like a grown up YESTERDAY. And fighting with faceless, nameless people online when you have vital life decisions to make for yourself and your mom is not acting like a grown up.
Just. Log. Off.
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🙌🙌🙌🙌 Exactly.
You said what I have been wanting to, I just didn't know how to word it and was getting overwhelmed trying to figure out how.
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If this was someone from the internet let’s see they have a name so will be going through their social media accounts..it’s not though but ok
I am very sorry for what you and your family experienced and continue to experience.
I’ve been trying to articulate how I feel about this from various perspectives and one that keeps coming to mind is from other people who have been impacted by similar crimes and are using what they went through to better themselves. Which I feel is a majority of people. Trauma, in my
opinion, is supposed to make you resilient. Not right away, there is no timeline, but as someone else commented on another thread - life continues to go on and unfortunately, at some point, there needs to be acceptance and reintegration back into society and daily activities. You can’t be stuck in the traumatic space forever, you always carry it with you but again you need to move forward. She will use this as an excuse for absolutely everything for as long as she can - she’s traumatized, has PTSD, can’t get a job, etc. And while all of that may be valid and true, trauma isn’t an excuse for every aspect of life and that’s insulting to other people who have been through similar shit and continue to live on. And can’t NOT go to work. Even though they are as equally traumatized as her. Does that make sense? Idk I am just ranting.
As far as the internet she purposely searches for things to make herself upset. Not comparing here to a celebrity but people don’t look themselves up when they are semi-known for a reason. Especially when they are known as a lolcow. When you do that how do you expect yourself to feel? Her best actions moving forward would be to log off for a substantial amount of time. Get herself and her mother (because we all know in reality they aren’t separating) into some kind of housing even if its a motel for the time being. If she insists on coming back to social media then trying to rebrand as a survivor and advocate. But no one wants to look up to an unemployed woman who takes no accountability and is terrible to literally everyone.