We need to get real about Tophia
I understand that the majority of people are hoping that this is Tophia’s time to “see the light” and change and use the social services that are being provided, are but statistically it’s not. Tophia’s story is not unique, it’s just documented.
The majority of homeless people that you see on the street, have severe mental illnesses and ailments just like Tophias. Tramua, learning disabilities, abuse victims, untreated and undiagnosed depression and anxiety at minimum (they more than likely have more severe illnesses but im not at liberty to speak on that). A lifetime of this combined with a lifetime of housing insecurity and poverty leads to a whole array of maladaptive coping mechanisms like a victim complex, deflection, lashing out, defeatism, helplessness etc.
Tophia has never felt like she has the tools to help herself so subconsciously her brain recreates that over and over so she believes it and it becomes her reality.
To be able to get yourself out of homelessness and chronic unemployment takes a lot of work and a certain mental clarity and strength, even if you’re aware you need to better your situation at an early age.
She is almost 40 and is okay with not getting a job and living in her car. She shows extreme defiance towards social norms and is extremely antisocial. She is the kind of homeless person who will stay homeless because she mentally is not smart enough to figure it out or to ask for help. She is also fighting against trauma and learned behaviors she doesn’t understand how to cope with, and even with a therapist, she needs stability and a safe environment to grow in. Being homeless in fight or flight mode all the time is not conducive for healing.
She may have enough funds to get another car, an apartment, maybe an RV but she has shown over and over that she WILL fall into the same situation. She has the exact archetype of person who stays in chronic homelessness simply because she is uneducated, grew up that way, and has never held a job in her adult life.
Tophia’s story is sad because we are exposed to it, but the majority of homeless people like her go through very similar situations and the people who are resilient will rise above it, and they wouldve already taken the steps to do so by now. And I know this sounds bleak and discouraging but I have witnessed these cycles with my own eyes and after enough exposure you know who will help themselves and who wont.
Best case scenario she finds someone who’s too nice and lets her and her mom live with them, but she wont use that time to start supporting herself or get a job and save up. She’ll just drain them of their resources until she gets kicked out and then she plays the victim and the cycle starts again and again and again.
And I say all these simply because the cycle is already restarting, look at how she’s behaving on live. Still stubborn still refusing help that’s not monetary, not even taking a full week off of arguing on social media. I doubt she can change.
Archived Comments
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totally i see so many tt comments saying that she cant be a bad person because she’s disabled. and i know this is hard to talk about but sometimes when people pity someone who has it worse than them, they refuse to chastise them or say that they’re capable of being bad people, because they’re just babying them. deep down they think these people are too stupid and underdeveloped to know what they’re doing. which i think is more insulting
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Tophia is 100% aware of this and uses it to her advantage, much the way Cyrax says everyone picks on him "because he looks different" knowing full well he is a pedophile
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Tophia is 100% aware of this and uses it to her advantage, much the way Cyrax says everyone picks on him "because he looks different" knowing full well he is a pdf
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most evil people are mentally unwell, not all of those who struggle with mental illnesses are evil. We can process the world around us, these people absolutely cannot do the same.
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No, "most evil people" are not mentally ill. Mental illness has nothing to do with being evil. How would having anxiety or depression or obsessive tendencies, paranoia or hallucinations or self injurious behaviors, emotional instability etc etc etc make one evil? The decision to be good or evil is completely independent of mental illness. It is ignorant to imply otherwise. Yes, all lolcows lack self awareness. Tophia is not autistic if that's what you're attempting to imply? Learning disability and autism are completely different things.
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The thing is, she will never learn. Recent events have shown that even death of her brother won't ring a bell in her head that maybe, just MAYBE she should do something differently.
Her personality is a big part of why no one should take her in etc. Being traumatized, mentally ill, having a learning disability etc does not inherently make one an evil, disgusting person. That's her personality, who she is regardless of whatever outlying issues she may have, the same way being schizophrenic (which I am as well) in no way makes Papachu a pedo, his pedo shit is just him, on his own, being disgusting because he is. It is possible to be mentally ill, go through trauma, have a learning disability and STILL be a bad person because that's just who you are.