I randomly had an OCD episode that convinced me I look like Tophia 😭

r/tophiachutiktok • by lawfullytired • Jun 25, 2024 10:29 am

I (F21) have social OCD, which basically means I’m hyper aware of my presence socially. I’m constantly paranoid if people dislike me and I don’t realize, or that I upset someone, etc. Typically my compulsions involve asking for reassurance, whether it be my partner asking if he is upset with me or my friends.

Luckily this summer through both medication and therapy I have been able to very very slowly work through it and overcome it and luckily have the support of my friends and boyfriend through this whole process.

Well, my brain seems to have misfired and made an oopsie. While I was on a Tophia deep dive (as most people here have been on at some point), I had somehow convinced myself I look like her. I have no factual things to base this off of- I have been called cute multiple times, I take care of my appearance, but over the past couple weeks I seem to have gotten this pervasive fear that I look similar to her. And when people on here or tiktok call her unattractive, my brain automatically makes the connection that “because people think she is unattractive i must also be.” Even though we have nothing in common personality wise or anything. The only reason I came to this conclusion was because I have a forehead osteoma and I have been insecure of it for years, and I feel like it looks similar to Tophia. That, and being overweight, I just am totally convinced I look like her.

I know this is SO crazy and random, and I know that it is illogical because we are completely different people at different ages, but it’s been bugging me SO much for the last few days to where I will stare at myself in the mirror for over an hour.

I don’t know if this will help, but can someone answer what about her specifically is unattractive? Maybe if I try to fix that on me I will relax a bit? I don’t know. If I told my friends they’d be confused cause they aren’t as online as I am.

Archived Comments

catshavestars • Jun 25, 2024 10:34 am Share • 1

i have ocd so i understand to an extent. i don’t have social ocd, but i suffer from pure o and it can be hell. ocd is not for the weak

i’d say what people mostly find unattractive about tophia is her personality and inability to better her living situation. her looks are not the greatest, but they wouldn’t be so bad if she took care of herself.

if you’re looking for physical features i would mostly point out her obesity and unique face, such as her low ears and extremely hooded eyes.

i don’t think you have to worry about looking like tophia unless you have the pharaoh’s curse of mamachu’s genes.
Unusual_Truck4064 • Jun 25, 2024 11:18 am Share • 1

hey! i’m trying to say this as nice as possible, but this is something to talk to your therapist about, not here. it’s unfortunate you feel this way but this is way out of this subreddits scope and you need to talk about this with a professional. i doubt asking strangers online what makes HER unattractive so YOU can fix that about YOURSELF is helpful to your treatment and i think you should talk about this with professionals and maybe stop watching tophia for a while until you have a better grip on this. it’s okay to step away from her content and this reddit until you feel better about this. again, not trying to be rude but this isn’t healthy or productive for you.