We need to be kind for the time being

r/tophiachutiktok • by Timely-Safe2918 •

What happened today to Tophia and her mother is nothing short of a tragedy.

This sub has been dedicated to documenting and archiving all the stupid shit she says, problematic or factually incorrect, and we laugh and joke about it. But now, everything has changed, and I think we need to acknowledge that this community and Tophia’s life will never be the same.

It’s one thing to move from motel to motel, to be homeless, to live in flux as she has. Whining about being hungry, wasting money, doing crazy makeup looks, embarrassing herself… this has been the norm for the years we have known her. But death and violence like this is not. The Tophia we know, I think, is gone forever.

If we can, we need to take advantage of the numbers in this community and lift her and her mother up in any way that we can. Prayer, good vibes, kind messages, anything. The discussions as they have been regarding her life needs to pause. We know that money is a hot topic here and the prevailing opinion is that she should not be given any money, but now seems like an appropriate time to donate if anybody feels inclined. By no means am I suggesting that a fundraiser is organized or calling for others to give, but man, if ever there’s been a time to help her, it’s now.

As humans, we can get caught up in our own perceptions of the world and the people around us. In communities like this, we are able to bond over a mutual hatred of someone so dense and polarized by reason and logic. It’s easy to forget Tophia is human, too. At no point does she, or any other person, really, deserve to experience something so heartbreaking and traumatic. Whether or not this is a byproduct of her choices, no one deserves to witness family members die in front of them. We can argue the particulars that there may be truly evil people in the world who might deserve this, but my point is that Tophia’s life is forever changed and as a result, we need to pivot. Who knows what the future of this sub holds, but right now, there are a lot of eyes on her.

We may be in our Reddit bubble here, but life is still unpredictable and can be cruel to any of us. Choose to say nothing or be kind. My sincerest hope for her is that this is the wake up call she needs to finally live the life she wants: a home, a career, love and happiness. Let’s all hope that her life can shape up into what we know she wants, and empathize with her as humans.

83 Archived Comments

Archived Comments

  1. unhealen Share • 147

    yeah as much as i don’t like her this is genuinely so sad and her trying to be safe living on the streets and her brother ending up getting killed must be so traumatic

  2. Lexieee_ Share • 140

    exactly, despite this being a snark page ik this sub is capable of being kind and supportive it’s the environment we’ve fostered for each other for the last how many years we’ve been here. tophia is tophia but nobody deserves to go through or witness what she’s going through and my heart breaks for marie especially i don’t think she’s been dealt the perfect card in life nor has she been a perfect mother but ik she loves her babies and im so sickened and heartbroken that she’s going through this

    1. [deleted] Share • 1

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  3. stickiebudd Share • 99

    If that's the case why even have this Reddit, this event doesn't take away from her bad behaviour and regardless of how she's feeling right now she needs to be held accountable for those poor actions.

    She should not be coddled just because her brother (tragically) died, we can have sympathy for her without forgetting who she really is.

    Don't forget, she's wished this on so many people and would celebrate if it were one of you.

    1. Hive_Fleet_Funfetti Share • 66

      Her brother who was a child predator

      1. planethoneyy Share • 63

        Be careful, if you remind people he was a pdf and woman abuser the virtual signalers will downvote you.

        1. Hive_Fleet_Funfetti Share • 27

          I do not care about Reddit good boy points

        2. CheesecakeWild7941 Share • 13

          this is what i don't understand. was he a pedophile or not? i swear not too long ago people were just upset because he likes kids shows, wore a hat that said something about masturbation to a childrens show panel at comicon, and lost their minds over him dating some girl who is 18 but still in high school. folks were just getting on angie for acting like him being gay is worse than him being a pedophile. this is why i'm confused.

          1. planethoneyy Share • 8

            https://www.reddit.com/r/tophiachutiktok/s/6Dks6wn6Xw

            1. CheesecakeWild7941 Share • -3

              what i mean is that i don't understand some people's sentiment on this. its possible to say that he was an active threat to minors and went out tragically at the same time

      2. [deleted] Share • 1

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      3. Timely-Safe2918 Share • -6

        Well he’s not alive anymore, happy now? What else do you want?

        1. stickiebudd Share • 12

          So happy actually 💕

          1. [deleted] Share • 1

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          1. tophiachutiktok-ModTeam Share • 1

            Rule 7: Be Civil

            Please refrain from using insulting or argumentative language towards other members. If you do not like a post or comment that has been submitted, unless it breaks a rule and you need to report it, please scroll to the next topic. Repeat offenders will be banned from this sub.

            1. [deleted] Share • 1

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      4. shrimp01266 Share • -8

        but he was still her own flesh and blood and she had to watch his murder. feel how you will about brotherchu, but at the very least, keep it to yourself. mamachu lost her son, and tophia lost her brother.

        1. Hive_Fleet_Funfetti Share • 54

          And the world lost a predator

    2. PhysicalProperty6534 Share • 64

      It’s crazy how people are switching up. They are literally are making excuses for tophia being “mentally disabled” yet she has put her family at risk because she is genuinely lazy.

      1. BigBirdBeyotch Share • 26

        I agree they should have been in a shelter. A couple weeks ago when that homeless guy was in her brothers car Tophia stated how dangerous it was being homeless, yet the family persisted on sleeping in cars instead of going to a homeless shelter where Marie could have applied for disability and tried to get section 8 housing again, this time without Donald sr. Yet, they chose to continue on sleeping in the car when it was proven to be dangerous already and mamachu just got out of the hospital not too long ago. Now 2 have been shot and 1 is dead. I am not trying to victim blame, I’m just saying that the thought of continuing to live in a car had already been proven dangerous and yet they did it anyways. I don’t believe any parent should have to bury a child, but I feel like many have told Tophia that her and mamachu need to go to a shelter and they didn’t listen. Obviously the family has Medicaid, so the bills there have been paid for. The only thing people should donate to is a funeral for Donald which I would say should be a max of 10k, to donate more money is counterproductive here. Tophia needs to do what’s best for her family and is notoriously bad with money, no matter how much money is given to her she will not use it wisely. We can provide prayers and good wishes for mamachu without paying tophias way to Disneyland. This was a horrible situation and honestly I feel horrible for mamachu, Tophia needs to step up and take care of her family.

        1. CheesecakeWild7941 Share • 10

          while i do believe they all have some sort of intellectual disability, i do also believe marie was at a severe disadvantage compared to the rest of them. she is hard of hearing and according to tophia, could not even hear her yelling on live in the car and she has no hearing aids. iirc, tophia would take her personal phone, disconnect the home phone, etc. my mom is just as old as she is and she does not have an intellectual disability but it is still extremely difficult for her to navigate this digital world we live in without my help, so i imagine its even more difficult for marie. i honestly feel like marie has had very little choice in all of this. she's an enabler, i know she's very strongly supported tophiachu in the past, but that's her mom. i'm sure she would've preferred to stay living in her apartment.

      2. CheesecakeWild7941 Share • 15

        it feels a little bizarre to see people talk about kindness and yet their flares are jokes about something her father said during a manic episode, marie's health condition, and things tophia has said during one of her lives/tophia's homelessness. i still remember when people were getting downvoted to oblivion for saying "they all suck but i feel bad for them and marie's health" not that long ago

        1. Beautiful_Bug9370 Share • 3

          Exactly! And they didn’t see any harm in it until something tragic happened. Constantly making fun of things that if I’m being honest were out of Tophias control or just a product of her environment and how she was raised. These are not people with empathy if they can only stop after things have gone so far

          1. CheesecakeWild7941 Share • 8

            i'm conflicted tbh. some of the things that the same people who are now preaching kindness have said about her and her family are awful. literally calling her disease ridden and sub human... part of me believes no one could predict this, but also like... i also can't believe that people did not see her clear spiral. don't get me wrong, i'm not absolved from any wrong doings cuz clearly i participate in the sub. but i genuinely wonder how much worse was anyone expecting this situation to get ?

    3. Gabisolos Share • 60

      Clock it!! The only person in this situation that I have genuine sympathy for is Marie, no parent should face having to bury their child. It’s hard for me to feel sympathetic for Tophia given the numerous times she’s mocked people for having deceased family members, but it’s even harder for me to feel sympathetic towards Donald Jr after remembering that he lied about his age to take advantage of a minor. That’s arguably one of the most vile, and predatory things a person can do. Truly sickening.

      1. [deleted] Share • 3

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        1. tophiachutiktok-ModTeam Share • 1

          Rule 7: Be Civil

          Please refrain from using insulting or argumentative language towards other members. If you do not like a post or comment that has been submitted, unless it breaks a rule and you need to report it, please scroll to the next topic. Repeat offenders will be banned from this sub.

    4. No_Effective_8522 Share • 29

      personally i don't think bad people should have to see their whole family get shot in front of them but that's just me

      1. cometicklemypickle Share • 2

        Exactly… this thread is insane. It’s so disheartening to see lack of compassion in times like this. People who hate and harass Tophia truly are just as worse

        1. radiohead-girlie Share • 5

          people are acting like the reason the gunmen shot brotherchu is because he was a bad person... the person did it to get away from his own crimes.... atp people are using that as excuse to cope with being apathetic and trying to desperately find a reason to justify it

    5. adnoroc Share • 23

      Yep. This whole situation could have been avoided had she just became a functioning member of society.

    6. HopeNatural Share • 21

      Exactly I don't feel a damn ounce bad for tophia. The sympathy is there but doesn't change anything about how I feel or speak about her. Finally some people remember the fuck shit she's done

    7. nikkixo87 Share • 6

      Right! People are in other threads talking about "well at least now she can get a case worker" . Laziness is not a disability !!

      We all SHOULD have empathy for tophias situation and give her grace, but can we not retcon her entire existence??

      She was constantly wishing death on people's family's, constantly talking about people's dead mothers etc. Yeah this event is a true tragedy but it's making me sick to see everyone kiss her feet all of a sudden

    8. [deleted] Share • 1

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    10. Mikaaajayjayyy Share • -12

      but no body shouldn't go through this

    11. Timely-Safe2918 Share • -12

      I never said it “took” anything away from her poor behavior. Sure she needs to be held accountable, but has she shown herself to be open to criticism and people’s efforts to do so? How exactly have previous conversations, where people correctly point out the offensive things she has said, gone down? Is now REALLY the time to double down, or should we give her some grace that for once, she actually deserves?

      I am not saying she needs to be coddled either. She is who she is, but my point is that she’s a human just like the rest of us. Getting caught up in this myopic community and holding her “accountable” right now is quite cruel, if you ask me. The judgement day for internet crimes can wait.

  4. crxmsonrxses Share • 57

    Might get flack for saying this, but if this happened to one of us and she knew about it, she’d make jokes and call it karma- zero sympathy from her. It’s beyond terrible what happened and that she witnessed it, but she wished death upon people and their families with delight. She’s still a terrible person and the recent tragedy doesn’t change that. The way people are getting on their high horses and acting like the morality police is annoying.

    1. Cthton Share • 21

      You're annoyed that people are feeling empathy towards someone who almost lost the two only people they had left.. you're mad you can't bully and mock someone who has nothing left? while it may be true that Tophia would've mocked others that this had happened to it doesn't make it any more okay to harass her after this, in a way i can't blame Tophia as she's been being harassed for years, i don't come on this subreddit a lot but when i do its vile, so for you to be mad you can't mock and harass Tophia in peace anymore is honestly disturbing and might just say SO MUCH about your mental state because again, empathy is a vital human emotion and separates us from dogs and monkeys, as far as we know she's one bad day away from taking her own life, now i hope it never comes to that but its so easy to get to that point especially in a situation like hers, we all know she can't pay for those hospital bills alone and won't have anywhere to go if mamachu survives and gets out the hospital, so she'll need support or she'll have nothing, I'm just saying it how it is.

      1. [deleted] Share • 1

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    2. canyoujuststfuthanks Share • 15

      Righht! All of a sudden, have you guys forgotten how she was talking down on people's dead parents, siblings? Yes, she lost her brother. It's not fair that his life was taken over a car jacking but you guys can't just flip a switch and act yall you haven't been knit picking everything Tophia does or what she says. "Be nice, have some empathy" frankly, I can't. If she wasn't socially online the way she is you guys wouldn't have known who the slydells were in the first place. You wouldn't be telling everyone to lighten up.

      1. Abandoned_Asylum Share • 7

        Yeah she’s said seriously fucked up stuff; but she literally watched her brother be executed. If you can’t put that aside, be emotionally mature, then you have your own issues.
        She is going to have this the rest of her life. Honestly, a lot of what she said bothered me. Why would I be on this Reddit?
        But to know she witnessed that, experienced that, and to hear her in that moment?

        No, I won’t be saying shit anymore. I don’t care what she’s said. I’m genuinely sorry for her. Because her brothers life is gone; no more anything. Death has a way of changing you. And now she’s about to experience that.

        She watched her mother get shot. Didn’t know if she was alive.

        These are all such horrible things.

        She didn’t deserve this.

        No; I didn’t like her. But it’s a time to be a human, act with dignity and kindness, and realize this person is experiencing a real nightmare.

        Who the fuck cares what she’s said. Sending prayers to her and Marie. RIP Donald. You didn’t deserve that.

      2. [deleted] Share • 1

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    3. Nullnvoid2017 Share • 14

      This!!!!!! People all of a sudden want to care like naw y’all could’ve cared before this happened to her.

    4. cxkezxro Share • 10

      Pretty sure I got blocked, I’ll respond on this account. I have NEVER MOCKED OR BULLIED tophia on any social media sites, this is my second time commenting on her. I’m not mad at tophia, I’m mad at the hypocrites. They’re acting holier than thou and it grates me. I wish Marie the best, that’s all I have to say.

    5. After_Ad9257 Share • 10

      I think we can all agree that the majority of us have more compassion and cognitive skills than she does. No harm in trying, even when someone continues to be an ass.

    6. l0l01963 Share • 5

      It doesn’t matter about making it fair and doing what she would do, it’s about doing the right thing and backing off someone who’s lost a deeply loved person. She’s a person too at the end of the day

    7. [deleted] Share • 1

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      1. tophiachutiktok-ModTeam Share • 2

        Rule 7: Be Civil

        Please refrain from using insulting or argumentative language towards other members. If you do not like a post or comment that has been submitted, unless it breaks a rule and you need to report it, please scroll to the next topic. Repeat offenders will be banned from this sub.

    8. [deleted] Share • 1

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    10. elperropiruli Share • -16

      tophia is a bitch....she deserves this. idk why everyone is trying to act like she was some kind of angel.

      1. ChiefWahoooMcDaniels Share • 6

        No one is painting her out to be an "angel". Lolcow culture has really damaged y'all's views on para social relationships. We're all on the sub because we share similar opinions regarding her online behavior. She's not a good person, we all know that, but now isn't the time to "dunk" on her. You're no better than the Lolcows you view if you think she deserved this. Wishing death on a stranger's entire family because you don't like isn't normal. This trauma will damage her and her mother for the rest of their lives. These are real people with lives, family, thoughts and feelings. No one deserves this. This is absolutely horrific.

  5. zaliarichards Share • 48

    i can fully agree. tophia is not the best purpose and we will not forget what she has done, but right now, she needs support and understanding so we all need to give that to her.

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  6. discopisss Share • 33

    Fully agree

  7. Nullnvoid2017 Share • 29

    This situation with her family is sad there’s no excuse for what happened but now y’all want to switch it up and be kind and spread love after years and years of people giving her advice and helping her she’s still making excuses and look how things are ending up for her. Y’all want to donate to her by all means go for it. But at the end of the day she’s going to continue with her antics she won’t listen even after her brother dying and her mother in the hospital.

  8. OddArm8695 Share • 21

    This is really her last chance to change. I really hope she does something because she doesn’t have Donald anymore with the license and income.

  9. No_Pension2786 Share • 16

    it’s upsetting knowing that people will throw this in her face like they do with her sister. i REALLY hope the internet gains some empathy if she decides to come back, but im sure they won’t

    1. MisaAmane-_- Share • 16

      Oh yeah the internet won’t give her any slack, even in a situation like this. Which like don’t get me wrong I don’t like tophia at all, and you could say at her core she is genuinely a shit person but idk I can’t bring myself to say her or her family deserved what happen.

      I can’t even imagine how fucking terrifying it would be to be in that exact situation. Literally seeing your brother die and your mother get shot is something majority of people would not be able to live with.

      I do hope this is a wake up call for her. Might not be, but who knows. I just hope she doesn’t revert to her usual and get on live dry begging and using his death as an excuse for why they’re still broke and homeless but that’s something to be addressed if it happens and for this moment in time I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people showing her empathy bc regardless of how anyone feels about her that is really a horrific thing to go through.

  10. erosmutt Share • 12

    She constantly wishes death on people.

  11. Greedy_Beginning_177 Share • 10

    I haven’t kept up with Tophia and her family for months but I am truly so devastated for her . I can’t help but shed a few tears for her. 💔
    I’ve always felt some sympathy for her , yeah she got herself into the shitty situations but holy shit she’s human !! I can’t imagine what her mental health is like rn, I’ve always wished I could help her.
    I wonder if she will gain clarity from this or just sink deeper.. 😕

  12. Beautiful_Bug9370 Share • 9

    The switch up is insane. You casually admitted you guys make fun of tophia so much and it’s “easy” to forget she’s human too. It’s kind of sad how you guys are pretending to be decent people because of recent events and it’s sad that it has to take something so severe for you to realize maybe you should stop.

  13. _DancesWithKnives Share • 7

    Our kindness at the moment, may do her a lot of good.
    It may even make or break her.

    Remember the "she's not a Christian" trading spouses lady? She lost her daughter and did a 180, that she credits to being the support she got from the LGBT community.
    She's now an active ally .
    It made me tear up when I looked her up and saw the kind of person she is nowadays.

  14. bingbongdingdong6969 Share • 6

    My mom lost her brother to gun violence and I know several other people who have lost family members in the same way, THIS CHANGES PEOPLE my mom was never the same after so even though I dislike Tophia, I truly empathize with her and I hope other people do the same

    1. Timely-Safe2918 Share • 3

      That’s what I’m saying fr

  15. BewilderedHen Share • 5

    Idk kinda feels like you all want your cake and to eat it too.

    Not saying I nor anyone should have wished death on her family, yet when they got DOXXED, death threats, stolen from, harassed after being evicted, like, how is any of this ok? Weird double standards for most the lol cow community rn

  16. Glum_Reason308 Share • 5

    I can’t imagine literally being trapped in the backseat watching my son get shot in the head. I hope and pray Tophia and her mother take advantage of every therapy etc.. offered to them. How do you move on from that? This is horrific.

  17. bwaysapphic Share • 5

    I genuinely hope she gets the help she needs, whether it be a social worker or a women's shelter. Say what you want about her. I know she isn't a good person, but I wouldn't wish what she's going through on my worst enemy.

  18. jo_ccc Share • 5

    I stopped reading at the word donate.

    What exactly have *you* done to help toe pea a?

  19. After_Ad9257 Share • 4

    Beautifully said. I’m all for helping the family right now but I don’t think Tophia is able to handle money responsibly. Not sure how to go about this.

    1. Timely-Safe2918 Share • 2

      I agree

  20. Ok_Put_3888 Share • 2

    Yes!! I agree 100%

  21. [deleted] Share • 1

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    1. tophiachutiktok-ModTeam Share • 1

      Rule 7: Be Civil

      Please refrain from using insulting or argumentative language towards other members. If you do not like a post or comment that has been submitted, unless it breaks a rule and you need to report it, please scroll to the next topic. Repeat offenders will be banned from this sub.

  23. Ellisbellee Share • 1

    Well said.

  24. alyarden1028 Share • 1

    I'm so sick of seeing people say "This needs to be a wake up call"

    A wake up call?

    A car jacking at gun point ending in a death can literally happen to anyone. It can happen to someone sitting at a red light in the middle of the day.

    A wake up call is an obese person who refuses to change their lifestyle and having a heart attack. Or an IV drug user getting a heart infection from shared needles.

    This is not a wake up call for anyone. This is a tragedy that happened to a family that only could have been avoided if they were at a different place at a different time.

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  27. Fregster404 Share • 1

    I couldn’t imagine seeing my own sibling die in front of me. The event itself is tragic and we all really need to not troll her whatsoever during this time. If anything, we should help her

  28. Cosmiic_Angel Share • 1

    I genuinely am on the verge of tears as I am finding out all this news and I have been an active member of this sub for a while now. I just cannot imagine how she must feel and I genuinely want to help her.

  29. babymothball Share • -4

    I fully agree.

  30. JohKohLoh Share • -4

    There will still be some evil comments we just have to drown them out and ignore them.

  31. iits_t0bi Share • -6

    thank you for saying this. i wish her and her mother the best. i never thought in a million years id actually consider donating to her, but i feel like this time she actually needs it.

  32. Middle_Zealousideal Share • -6

    I unsubsidized to a yt channel because this guy was so disrespectful. She is a mess but she is also a human with feelings

  33. Sweaty_Excitement717 Share • -7

    I think a shelter is just as dangerous. Families get separated especially because they’re all grown there is “assistance” but you wouldn’t even survive a day in her shoes

  34. Tiny-Force6222 Share • -7

    Is there anything we can do?? They can’t go back on the streets guys.

  35. Jellybeanzdream Share • -19

    We need to help her out with a GoFundMe, it’s the least we can do to help.

  36. ExpressionUnhappy849 Share • -24

    someone please set up a gofundme to help with funeral expenses

    1. Beneficial-Garbage95 Share • -9

      Looking at the lack of empathy from some of these comments makes me want to donate even more. I hope something gets set up for her. She is an easy target for everyone to hate on and she became an outlet for all these lolcows who never take days off from hating her